Sunday, August 12, 2012

Short Post and a Song #15: I've also been known to diagnose myself with lupus on occasion (even though we all know it's NEVER lupus).

I have vampire-pale skin and bruise extremely easily, so this happens roughly three times a day:

(Notices a bruise on my leg) I don't remember where I got this. That bruise looks bad—how could I not remember getting it? Is it cancer? Oh God, is it CANCER? I’m only twenty-four. I can’t have cancer. What am I saying? I’ve always had a weak immune system, eat shit, and never exercise. I could TOTALLY have cancer.

(Roughly five minutes of mental panic, sometime during which I begin to run out of steam)

Eh … it’s PROBABLY not cancer.

(Shrugs and eats a bag of potato chips)


"Valerie" by Amy Winehouse

In this age of over-overproducing, Amy Winehouse was able to sing like that with no digital enhancement whatsoever. While sitting down. Fun singing fact—it’s much harder to do while sitting because using your diaphragm to breathe becomes about twice as difficult. Bet you’re all feeling super sad about Amy Winehouse and the state of the music industry now, huh?

You’re welcome.

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