The Plight of the Decorative Towel

I’m so sorry, buddy. The way your owner oppresses you is criminal, amoral, and downright unconstitutional.

I know what you want. You want what all towels want. What they need.

You want to dry wet things.

That is what you were born to do. And by God, it is your right to fulfill your life’s purpose.

Instead you toil on the rack beside your brothers and sisters. You watch person after person wash their hands at the sink. You watch their hands bathe in that glorious water and hope that maybe, just once, that someone will find it in their hearts to share their water with you.

But no one ever does. Instead these people search around the bathroom for Ugly Cousin Alvin. Ugly Cousin Alvin is the only towel your owner deemed suitable to dry wet hands.

The only time you’re ever even touched is when your owner fluffs you up and mumbles something about how “pretty” you are.

You are worth so much more than your looks, Decorative Towel. I hope that you know that. You could absorb moisture and aid people in the process of washing their hands with the best of ‘em.

If only you could.