Sunday, May 25, 2014

Short Post and a Song #76: We two assholes were made for each other.

Walking down the street with Dantrick Swayze:

Dan Tracy: Oh, it looks like Essential Cakes closed.

Me: Hmm, I guess their cakes weren't so essential after all.

Dan Wars: A New Hope: (Pauses on the sidewalk to look at me.) Jill, that's somebody's hopes and dreams! They invested their life's savings, and you're making a pun?

Me: (Pause, then a slow laugh.) I laugh at their misfortune. 

(Long silence.) 

Me: Are you rethinking your life decisions? Are you thinking about what a horrible person I am?

Dancent Vega: No. I just noticed a guy on a bike wearing tons of gear, heading towards us at top speed and taking his biking so seriously, and I wanted to yell, "Slow down, Lance Armstrong!"


"Battle Without Honor Or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei

I just rewatched Kill Bill: Vol. 1 and remembered why Quentin Tarantino is most likely my favorite filmmaker of all time. Every frame in that movie is a fucking masterpiece. Its theme has never been missing from any workout mix I've ever made. Generally I spend much more time making workout mixes than I do actually working out.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Short Post and a Song #75: The editing notes I give myself.

Dear Past Jillian,

Lowercase "q" is not a "g." I know they look similar, and I know that's confusing for you. 

But come on. Opague? Really?

Get it together.


Present Jillian


"Requiem for a Tower" by Escala

There's something magical about this re-arrangement of the "Requiem for a Dream" theme, played by an all-girl string quartet. It's the xylophone that really does it for me.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Short Post and a Song #74: I would buy the DVD of a movie I didn't even like just for that blooper reel.

Friday night Batdan and I watched Don Jon, a meh movie starring Joseph Gordon Levitt as a young man addicted to internet porn.

Dan Jan: (As the closing credit begin to roll) All right, now it's time for the all bloopers of Joseph Gordon Levitt pretending to masturbate.

We were both very disappointed when this did not turn out to be the case.


"Life in Technicolor II" by Coldplay

I've loved this song for years and it proved very useful when I was doing some feverish work on my new WIP yesterday and came out with 5,000 words. It occurred to me afterward that I'd never actually seen this song's music video, so I set out to change that.

And it is so fucking weird! Coldplay is doing a show at a church birthday party or something, only they're puppets for some reason. The kids in the audience look as confused by the directorial choices in this video as I am. Around 3:29, the dude with a camera realizes that he's catching puppets without strings on camera and will therefore become filthy rich. I'm surprised it took him three and a half minutes to realize that, but I guess the clowns on flaming motorcycles are what convinced him.

Yet despite its weirdness (or probably BECAUSE of it), I love this music video. It suits my WIP perfectly, especially when puppet Will Champion gives a little girl a miniature set of drumsticks at the end.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Short Post and a Song #73: The Last Jumper Cables in the World

Danold Duck and I walked to the corner deli late Friday night and heard music loudly pumping through the open window of a parked red car where a young woman sat in the front seat.

On our way home ten minutes later the car music was still going strong, filling the entire street with its synthetic beats.

Danglorious Basterd: She's going to kill her battery. (Pause.) I wish I had the last jumper cables in the world just so I could tell her she couldn't have them.


"Hold Me Tight" by the Beatles

This is not my favorite Beatles song, but it's the one that's been stuck in my head all week. My roommates have had the treat of being serenaded with this song each time I've done the dishes this week. 

Go forth, Velocininjas, and annoy your own roommates with this sprightly tune.