(Thief does something to set off the alarm)
Car: I’M BEING STOLEN! I’M BEING STOLEN! SOMEONE SAVE ME, SAVE MEEEEEEE!!!!!
Surrounding Populace: Would you shut the hell up, Car? I’m trying to finish my crossword.
(Thief gets in the car and manages to turn the alarm off)
Surrounding Populace: Thank you for ridding our neighborhood of that horrible noise. You are a true hero and a patriot.
(Thief is given a medal and the key to the city)