Me:
Y'know, it's funny how chefs are so obsessed with foam. Asparagus foam, cumin
foam, lemongrass foam.
A River Runs Through Dan: Are they?
Me: They are! And I just don't understand it. Why take perfectly good food and just absolutely fucking ruin it? Like, which guy looked at asparagus and thought: "This needs to be as close to what comes out of rabid dogs' mouths as possible"?
A Serious Dan (stares at me in disgusted silence)
Me: That's what it is. I'm just saying it.
The Old Dan and the Sea (quietly): You have rabies.
Me: Oh. ...Well, yeah. I thought you knew.
I guess I should have been more forthcoming about my rabies. It's just ... it's been rough. My life is kind of like 28 Days Later, but all the time.
P.S. I don't really have rabies. My sincerest apologies to any rabies victims I may have offended.
P.P.S. Is it like 28 Days Later all the time?
P.P.P.S. I'm being horribly insensitive. I'm very sorry about this.
P.P.P.P.S. But is it?
A River Runs Through Dan: Are they?
Me: They are! And I just don't understand it. Why take perfectly good food and just absolutely fucking ruin it? Like, which guy looked at asparagus and thought: "This needs to be as close to what comes out of rabid dogs' mouths as possible"?
A Serious Dan (stares at me in disgusted silence)
Me: That's what it is. I'm just saying it.
The Old Dan and the Sea (quietly): You have rabies.
Me: Oh. ...Well, yeah. I thought you knew.
I guess I should have been more forthcoming about my rabies. It's just ... it's been rough. My life is kind of like 28 Days Later, but all the time.
P.S. I don't really have rabies. My sincerest apologies to any rabies victims I may have offended.
P.P.S. Is it like 28 Days Later all the time?
P.P.P.S. I'm being horribly insensitive. I'm very sorry about this.
P.P.P.P.S. But is it?
No comments:
Post a Comment