Showing posts sorted by date for query renaissance. Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query renaissance. Sort by relevance Show all posts

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Movies with Velociraptor Hands: Dirty Dancing, Part 1

Heya Velocininjas and Velocininjettes! You might’ve noticed that I’ve been blogging a lot more regularly lately, and even managed to do a few posts that aren’t Short Post and a Song posts. 

That is partly because I recently finished editing my novel Viable for the final time and am taking a break before I start editing/rewriting my (very) rough draft of Rebel, the second book in the Renaissance Experiment trilogy. Normally I would waste all that time and writerly energy making stupid jokes on Twitter, but I’m taking a break from that to work on self-publishing Viable. In the meantime the blog gets to endure my attempts at comedy instead.

Also yeah, don’t think I’ve mentioned yet, but I’m going to be self-publishing Viable in the very near future. In fact it’s being formatted this very second (unless you’re reading this a long time from now). Navigating the self-publishing process has been fun and tedious and exciting and frustrating and fascinating. It’s definitely been both complicated and time-consuming, but overall it's still been much easier and more manageable than I initially assumed.

As part of my break from working on The Renaissance Experiment trilogy, I decided to rewatch the film Dirty Dancing. I had not seen Dirty Dancing since high school, but had seen it many, many times between the ages of ten and sixteen. 

I fucking loved that movie. I grew up doing various forms of dance and therefore tended to appreciate dance movies more than your average person. I was also completely in love with Patrick Swayze, which I don’t think requires any explanation.

In the intervening years between high school and now I’ve had many people tell me what terrible, terrible, very bad, godawful film Dirty Dancing is. The dialogue is garbage and no one acts like real people. There’s no story aside from Baby and Johnny dancing at this hotel one time, a girl getting an abortion, and Baby and Johnny dancing at a different hotel this other time.

In general folks whose opinions I trusted found this movie I’d grown up adoring to be a heap of overly cheesy bullshit.

So I rewatched the movie for the first time in thirteen years to see if the film held up. I took several notes while watching, hoping I’d be able to structure them into a blog post of some sort.

But alas I am a lazy fuck who doesn’t feel like doing that now, so instead I’m just going to just transcribe my notes as I wrote them. It’ll basically be like I’m live-tweeting the movie, only it won’t be live and this isn’t Twitter. I took kind of a lot of notes, so I’ll also split this up into a few different posts. So, again, another way that this won’t be like live-tweeting at all. It was a bad comparison, I apologize.

See you all next time for Part 2 in the epic saga of me watching Dirty Dancing for the first time since high school!

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Short Post and a Song #137: Are the tacos in the cauldron?


I'd be in great shape if I could just dedicate as much thought to getting my shit together as I do to how that one dude offered Schmendrick a taco in The Last Unicorn even though his group only had rat soup.





~*~*~*~*~


"Lost Coastlines" by Okkervil River




While a few trusted friends are looking over Viable, I've been doing a lot of thinking about The Renaissance Experiment trilogy as a whole. Not writing anything down, really—just thinking about themes and messages and all those other sorts of things that can be a bit dangerous to think about when you're doing the actual writing (or at least it can be for me).

While I've been doing that thinking I have listened to this song roughly 5,000 times. When I first heard it I just thought it was a sweet, lovey sort of sounding song and I plopped it on my "Roth" playlist (every main character in the series has his or her own playlist, and even some of the secondary ones).

As I found myself coming back to this song over and over, I realized how strongly it applies to not just one character, but the whole series. The song is about getting on a boat and heading away from everything you've ever loved toward the unknown. It's about feeling lost.

But if you listen to the song, it doesn't sound like it's about that at all! It sounds so damn happy. And a happy song about being scared and alone and lost happens to fit this series like a glove.

Also check out the video, guys—it documents all the amazing drawing of the illustrations and lettering artist Kevin Tong did for an Okkervil River show.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Short Post and a Song #130: The moral of this story is that flip flops are terrible.


ME: It's nice out today. I should wear flip flops!

[roughly five seconds after leaving my apartment in the flip flops]

ME: *sobbing* Why do I always make decisions that end up hurting me in the end?

COP: You need to get up off the sidewalk, ma'am.


~*~*~*~*~


"Oslo in the Summertime" by of Montreal




I'm back to working on the second book in the Renaissance Experiment trilogy now, but last week I took a break to clear my head and splash around in a few of my other works in progress. I spent most of the week editing my monster novel, Moorhouse, but I also did some conceptual work on a science fiction project of mine, tentatively titled Tabula Rasa.

Halfway through writing Moorhouse I found a song that I could imagine playing during the opening credits of the movie version of my novel. Despite being a severe case of thinking way too far ahead, this really helped crystallize in my mind what the important themes were of what was at the time an overly complicated story.

For Tabula Rasa I imagine "Oslo in the Summertime" playing right at the beginning of the story's first scene. A group of young adults wake up on a beautiful but deserted island, and no one has any memory of who they are or how they got there. There's something in this song that just perfectly captures for me how unsettling an experience like that would truly be, how a person might almost become sort of numb and just float through it all, because what else could you do?

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Short Post and a Song #118: My name is very fancy, you see


Hey my Velocininjas, I hope you're having a good weekend so far. I am going to be fairly busy for the next several weeks, so for the next few Short Post and a Songs I'm going to be posting the entirety of Amerex: Land of the Unicorns, the book I made in Build Your Own Book class when I was eleven.




That's the cover. I like my choice to make my name cursive while everything else was print. Good job keeping it weird, Lil Jill. I also enjoy how my magical world sounds like the lovechild of America and a Xerox machine. Tune in next week for Amerexian adventures!


~*~*~*~*~


"This Time Tomorrow" by The Kinks




This song is applicable to pretty much any dystopian story, particularly one starring a bunch of a teenagers, so I've been listening to it while working on The Renaissance Experiment quite a lot. It's also just a fantastic song by a fantastic band.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Short Post and a Song #117: Spiders for days


ME: *walks into forest*

SALESMAN: Welcome! Are you in the market for some sticks? We've got sticks, we've got rocks, we've got dirt, we've got leaves! And spiders? We've got spiders for days!


~*~*~*~*~


"The Ground Walks, with Time in a Box" by Modest Mouse




"Float On" has long been my favorite Modest Mouse song, but this guy's come dangerously close to sliding into first place for me lately. It's got a killer intro and suits the section of the second Renaissance Experiment book I've been working on quite well.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Short Post and a Song #113: I think I should be able to make it to Narnia in an armoire. Close enough, right?


[Furniture Store]

SALESPERSON: *knocks on the door of a bureau*

ME: *emerges from inside the bureau* Yes?

SALESPERSON: Can I ask what you were doing?

ME: Trying to get to Narnia.

SALESPERSON: *chuckles* I'll let it go this once. 

[literally two minutes later]

SALESPERSON: *finds me crammed inside a chifferobe* I should maybe point out that we don't actually sell wardrobes. And also ask that you leave the store immediately.


~*~*~*~*~


"Muy Tranquilo" by Gramatik




This song served as my constant, repeating soundtrack for a scene I was writing in the second Renaissance Experiment novel recently. It sounds like some very chill, very talented dudes just jamming for four minutes, and I mean that in the best possible way. Gramatik even has another song called "Just Jammin'" and it is also great.

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Short Post and a Song #109: Now THAT'S metal.


Today I saw a metal-looking dude wearing a leather jacket and a bandana, and he was walking a dog who was wearing a tiny leather jacket and a tiny bandana.



~*~*~*~*~

"October" by Broken Bells




I've still been plugging away at my Renaissance Experiment series these days. While I wait for some last bits of feedback on the first book from my readers, I've been been going back over my outlines for the other two books in the series to work out any kinks. I wrote those outlines in 2011 and the series has gone through quite a few changes since then, so I need to make sure some of the newer twists and turns fit into the original framework.

I've also been working on the second book in the series. I wrote the first eight chapters from 2011 to 2012, and have barely looked at them since. I read through all the old chapters, subtracted a fuckload of unnecessary exposition, and now I'm doing some of the first new writing I've done on this series in five years. 

And it's so weird. It's kind of like finding an old shirt in your closet that you haven't worn in years and being shocked to find it still fits. You're so happy to have this awesome shirt back in your life, but can't help feeling strange about the fact that the you who wore this shirt five years ago and the you wearing it now are such different people.

I've been relying on music more than ever to get into my protagonist's head, and "October" (along with "In the Backseat" by Arcade Fire) has long served as her theme song.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Short Post and a Song #105: Did you get a haircut?


How I interpret someone asking me "Did you get a haircut?" when I have not, in fact, gotten a haircut:

"You look like shit most of the time, but you look ever so slightly less like shit today for some reason."


~*~*~*~*~


"Prank Calls by Kelley Stoltz




As I've mentioned previously, I'm working on getting my dystopian novel, The Renaissance Experiment, into shape. I often listen to instrumental music while editing so I don't get distracted by the lyrics, but sometimes I need something that will get me into the right mood to write a certain character. 

My protagonist is sixteen, and nothing gets me into her teenaged head like this song. (Particularly during friendship/not-feeling-alone-anymore-type scenes.) The melody is upbeat and fun, but with just enough of an angsty edge.

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Short Post and a Song #104: Please don't take ice cream from us, Dystopian Future.


MAN TRYING TO SELL ME DIPPIN' DOTS: Dippin' Dots are the ice cream of the future.

ME: *grabs him by his collar* What the fuck did you do to normal ice cream, you time-traveling bastard??



~*~*~*~*~


"Lower the Heavens" by The Donkeys




I've been writing up a storm recently. Some of it has been fleshing out the worlds of two of my infant projects that barely exist outside my brain yet—one historical fiction and one sci-fi. But most of my energy has been going toward editing my dystopian project, The Renaissance Experiment (older readers may remember it as Renaissance Lab). It's finally been long enough since I started (nearly seven years already, Jesus) that I've been able to read it back over with some objectivity.

I prefer instrumental tracks for editing since I get too hung up on lyrics to pay attention to what I'm reading, and "Lower the Heavens" has been a real favorite of mine lately. Give it until 1:10 or so to really get going, and goddamn then it really does. It's particularly good for "let's all band together to pull off something awesome" sorts of scenes, though I imagine it would also lend itself well to romantic scenes.

You may have noticed that I have gone back to the old Short Post and a Song format. It was a fun experiment while it lasted, but I've realized an important factor that I managed to overlook previously: The songs I feel inclined to make jokes about are not often the songs I actually enjoy. And I just didn't like the idea of in any way endorsing songs I don't like, since this blog is my Velocikingdom where I rule as an all powerful God King. (I know it should be Goddess Queen but I like the sound of God King better, and it's my Velocikingdom, so yeah ... that pretty much makes my point, actually.)

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Short Post and a Song #68: Someone out there thinks I'm a real comedian. ...Maybe. Probably not.


Someone recently found the blog by searching "comedian jillian on chopped." They were probably searching for information about a funny chick named Jillian who went on Chopped at some point, but I am going to pretend that the random searcher was looking for me and this post

Thank you, random searcher, for making me feel like a real comedian—even if it was just an accident.



~*~*~*~*~



"Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" by Rufus Wainwright





I'm officially querying with Moorhouse and am trying to put it out of my head by doing some editing on Renaissance Lab. I got mostly good feedback on it from agents who requested it but the only people who really seemed to love it were the assistants who read through to the end, and not the agents who read just the first fifty to one hundred pages. So I'm trying to see if I can't infuse the feel of the rest of the novel into the beginning, or perhaps hack off the beginning altogether.

This song is on my Renaissance Lab playlist and it felt like a reunion of sorts when I put it on and started reading through my old pages. 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Short Post and a Song #58: Mama Revisa


I'm getting toward the very end of writing my Moorhouse rough draft, which for me is just about the most stressful part of writing a book. Ending Renaissance Lab was a bit easier for me since I had extensively outlined how everything was going to go. I'm doing a lot more pantsing with Moorhouse, which means I'm still not 100% sure how things will go down in its final scenes. 

So I've done a terrible little drawing for me and anyone else nervous about how their books are will tie up:





Next time you get bogged down by the writing blues, just remember Mama Revisa and her calming words of wisdom.


~*~*~*~*~


"Satellite" by Guster




I've been a fan of this song for a few years now, though I only recently realized which that it had any name other than "The Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee Song." I'm pretty sure it's on the soundtrack of something, though I'm not sure what. I like this acoustic version even better than the original; I just love watching that violinist go.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Short Post and a Song #57: ...Except for Cameron Diaz. If Cameron Diaz is a unicorn, then she's one of the dick ones who tricked Charlie into going to Candy Mountain and stole his kidney.


Movies like It’s Complicated, Something's Gotta Give, and The Holiday are perfectly enjoyable just so long as you think of them as fantasy films, and of their heroines as unicorns wandering through enchanted, beautifully decorated forests.


~*~*~*~*~


"Piano Concerto No. 21" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart




I've been listening to Mozart a lot while writing these days. I find his music helps me to be more productive without being a distraction.

I know I've been quiet lately and skipped a few Short Posts and Songs. So here are some more consolation sketches for you. As always, new readers should know that I make sketches to help my writing, and not because I think I'm some kind of Vincent Van Gogh. I'm actually quite happy not to be some kind of Vincent Van Gogh; I very much enjoy having both my ears.


These are some of the main characters in Renaissance Lab, my dystopian novel. I'm a lot better at drawing faces than bodies, so there are many floating heads in all my sketch books. 



More floating heads! These guys are characters from my WIP, Moorhouse, done with my fancy new blue brush pen.


This sketch is a good example of how I never let a lack of space stop me if there is a doodle to be drawn. For some reason I find Mazkin's (the monster on the lower right) expression here endlessly amusing.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Short Post and a Song #39: I know you're out there somewhere, Crazy Cat Lady BFF, and I will find you.


I would really like to make friends with a crazy cat lady someday. I love cats but am fairly allergic and also enjoy owning black clothing that isn’t covered in cat hair. So a crazy cat lady friend would be the ideal solution. I could go and pet old Georgina’s fifteen cats every so often, and sip lemonade and eat butterscotch candies and listen to Georgie’s tales of life in the theatre.


~*~*~*~*~


"King and Lionheart" by Of Monsters and Men




While writing Renaissance Lab, I had a very special moment with a very special song. The song was "In the Backseat" by Arcade Fire, and when I first heard it I suddenly understood my protagonist in a new, much deeper way. Two days ago I had almost that exact same experience with Moorhouse and "King and Lionheart." Whenever I hear this song, I know exactly who my protagonist is, what she wants, and what makes her special. 

I'm not going to share how many times I've listened to this song on obsessive repeat, nor how many times I've watched the beautifully whimsical music video. I'll just say an enormous thank you to Of Monsters and Men, Arcade Fire, and all the other songwriters who write the music that makes so many other jobs in this world that much easier. 

I'll leave you with the quote that always comes to mind when I think of how grateful I am to the people who write the songs that guide my writing, by Stephen Chbosky from The Perks of Being a Wallflower:


“And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it's enough. I really do because they've made me happy. And I'm only one person.”

Thursday, June 28, 2012

The Art of Wasting Time

I fail at getting my shit together on Thursdays. I blame this day's close proximity to Friday. So please enjoy this diary entry I wrote two years ago! At the time I was working on both Renaissance Lab and another project. I'm contractually prohibited from yammering on the internet about that project, so I will always refer to it as simply "the contracted project."


I am a bad girlfriend. I was supposed to be working all day so that I could go to New Jersey tonight and go to the beach tomorrow. I did not do that. Instead, here's what I did:

Wake up

Watch half of Object of My Affection

Surf the internet

Talk to the Danterbury Tales on the phone about the possiblity of going to the beach and say that I am about to eat breakfast and start working

Play online for another hour

Realize I have low blood sugar and need to eat since it is already 1:00 PM

Bring dishes to the kitchen to wash so I can use them to make breakfast

Spill old coffee grounds on the floor

Get broom to sweep up coffee grounds

Realize the kitchen floor is disgusting

Sweep the entire kitchen floor

Wash coffee pot and other dishes

Realize I am out of the good coffee beans and contemplate if I will make bad coffee/get sick if I use expired coffee beans

Figure this is okay and start making breakfast

Blow a fuse by having the toaster, coffee maker, and air conditioner plugged in at once

Fix fuse

Continue making breakfast

Take an extremely long time eating breakfast while finishing Object of My Affection (the coffee tastes fine, furthering my suspicion that coffee beans don't really expire and that the coffee companies just want me to buy more coffee beans than I really need)

Read through everything I've written of Renaissance Lab and make a few nit-picky changes while failing to actually write anything new

Read a few Hyperbole and a Half posts

Read through what I've already done on the contracted project in preparation of doing work

Read more Hyperbole and a Half posts

Write three sentences of the contracted project

Write pointless journal entry about being a bad girlfriend, further proving the original point

Read through journal entry several times, feeling a delusional sort of pride in my ability to waste time

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Shhh, don’t worry. The Arrogant Douche Police won’t arrest you for liking your own books. You might get fined for the goatee, though.

Hey guys. Sorry my post is a bit later than usual today. I’ve just spent the past few hours doing something kind of embarrassing: Reading Renaissance Lab. That’s right—I was reading my own book.

I wasn’t reading with the aim to edit, either. In fact, this was one of those times I was trying very hard not to edit. I was reading the book as I hope readers would: That is, I was reading it for fun.

I end up feeling smarmy and narcissistic every time I read my old work for my own enjoyment. Part of me feels like I’ll never be a good writer if I think I’m a good writer. Instead I should leave what I’ve already done behind me and focus on trying to do an even better job on the next thing. 

Narcissism aside, it’s also nearly impossible to ignore the overwhelming urge to edit finished projects, even if I’m reading an article or blog post that published years ago. A typo will scream, “How did you manage to make TWO errors in a 250-word article?!” and I’ll feel that mix of anger at myself and irritation with the editors of the world that perfectionist journalists come to know so well.

On top of all that, another voice adds to the chorus of discouragement and says that reading over old work is just a waste of time. Why not read a book by someone else—a book I might actually learn something new from?

But still, I continue to read over my long since finished stories. Reading over something I wrote in high school helps me to appreciate the improvements I’ve made since now and then. I can see the mistakes I made, and better decide if I’m still making them.

Reading a book I haven’t worked on for months helps me to see with the eyes of a reader rather than a writer. One of my very favorite feelings is to look at a piece of my writing and not recognize it as mine; when I can read the story just as I would read one on a shelf, or in my work as a reader.

This distance brings me a glorious sense of objectivity and I can better recognize what really works about the story and what doesn’t. I do sometimes find myself laughing at my own jokes and becoming invested in the characters’ stories as though I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Maybe that is arrogant. I don’t know.

But I do think frequently reading over my old work has helped me to become a better writer. Particularly with Renaissance Lab, rereading it reminds me to cultivate certain seeds I planted there when I write future books.

And narcissistic though it can feel, I think it’s important to be able to look back and enjoy your own writing. It’s one of the biggest reasons we write, after all: To be able to see the things that previously only existed in our heads out in the world.

Your readers should enjoy your writing, but so should you.

Monday, March 19, 2012

When you’re not sure how to start your new novel, a map of emotionally resonant scenes can help you find your way.

Out of everything a writer goes through in the process of writing a book, starting can be the hardest part. I’m not talking about the idea phase. That phase is fantastic—a carefree time of unleashed imagination and no responsibility.

No, I’m talking about the day you have to start writing the actual words that will appear in the actual book. And making the title page doesn’t count.

You will stare at your nearly blank document and nerves will churn in your stomach. You’ll think of all those hopeful scribbles you so lovingly scribbled about the book’s world and plot on napkins, the backs of receipts, and old plane tickets (you’d be surprised how many times I have done this last one). You don’t want to betray the promise of those scribbles by writing a story unworthy of them.

This is when you have to decide if you not only love those scribbles enough that you don’t want to let them down, but that you couldn’t fathom never writing about them. It can be the early end of the project for some.

Other writers may remain sure that they want to write the book, but have trouble finding just the right words to begin. So I thought I’d share what I do when caught in a case of cold feet such as this. (Considering you write entirely with your hands, I feel I should call it cold hands. But that just sounds weird.)

When I get intimidated by a new story, I latch onto the characters. I forget about my complex world, the twists and turns of my plot, and how the many strands of this story are supposed to tie up nice and neat in the end.

Instead I focus entirely on the key players in my book—how they got to where they are when the book first starts, and how their pasts are going to affect their reactions to the events of the plot. I’ll often write out detailed backgrounds for each character so I can keep their histories straight later on. This is an especially handy thing to do when writing a series with lots of characters.

Once I have a rough idea of who these people are, I turn my attention to how they would respond if forced to interact with one another. Would they make fast friends? Would they hate each other? Would they have potential for a deep relationship, but only once both parties mature a bit?

Sometimes I’ll write hypothetical conversations between these characters just to see how they play off of one another. You have no idea how helpful this can be. Not only do these conversations tell me more about who the characters are, but they can give me new ideas for where to take the plot.

You’d also be surprised to learn how many of these conversations make it into the final book. Some of my favorite scenes in Renaissance Lab were written out of context before I even started the novel. Practically all of my favorite scenes were at least written achronologically.

You see, once I have a handle on these character relationships, I tend to get very, very invested in them. As the writer of a book, you are also your own first reader. Hopefully you’ll get as involved in your protagonist’s victories and triumphs as your readers one day will.

In my favorite books, I become so intrigued by the characters that I feel tempted to skip ahead and find out what will happen between them. It is a sign of serious respect for the author if I don’t do so. But when I happen to be the author of the book I’m reading, I don’t have to wait patiently for those relationship-shifting, emotionally resonant scenes to arrive. In fact I know it benefits the overall story if I skip ahead.

I’ll look at two characters and think, “Aw, I can’t wait until those two stop hating each other and become friends.” So then I’ll write the scene that will serve as the turning point in the relationship between those two characters. Now that I’ve written a scene of where I want that relationship to go, I’ve provided myself with a destination to reach within the story. Every scene I write between those characters from now on will build toward that particularly resonant moment.

It took me a while to learn that I am an outlining kind of writer. I wish I could write by the seat of my pants like some kind of swashbuckling writer-pirate, but I’m just not that cool. I like the security that an outline can provide. I treat it the same way I would treat a map on a hike. I’m likely to barely even look at the map while hiking—I’ll go where the finest views and my own curiosity take me. But I will be damn glad I remembered the map when I’m passing that tree with the weird moss for the seventh time.

While outlines provide a map for my plots, the handful of emotionally resonant scenes I write before beginning a book (or at least long before they’re chronologically due to appear) serve as a map for my characters. This is an even more flexible map than the outline. Sometimes relationships between characters shift in a way I never could have anticipated, and render many of my already-written scenes moot.

But out of the nonlinear scenes I’ve written, I would say about 75% of them are eventually used in some way or another—even if I just extract a few lines from a five-page scene. And those are often the scenes that require the least editing down the road. They’re the scenes my writer’s mind just couldn’t wait to pounce on, and I’m always glad I wrote them ahead of schedule.

If you’re having trouble starting something new, try taking some time to get closer to your characters. Virginia Woolf wrote in A Writer’s Diary: “…I dig out beautiful caves behind my characters: I think that gives exactly what I want; humanity, humour, depth. The idea is that the caves shall connect and each comes to daylight at the present moment.”

Spend some time digging those beautiful caves—write scenes in which the caves connect and come to daylight. These scenes may not make it into the book later on, but they will help you to decide if you really love these characters enough to see them through to the end.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Music can be as good a cure for writer’s block as chocolate can be for … well, just about anything.

Last night I went with the Artist Formerly Known as Young Daniel to see the Arctic Monkeys and the Black Keys in concert. And even though we quite literally had the worst seats in Madison Square Garden, it was still a blast. I spent the entire evening wiggling to the music in my seat like some kind of epileptic worm.

When I attended my first rock concert at the age of sixteen, a sneering girl promptly informed me that I was “head-banging wrong.” I quickly had to decide if I would stand awkwardly still through the concert, or if I would head-bang extra wrong and grin at that sneering girl as I did so. I opted for the latter and have taken a special kind of joy in acting like an idiot at concerts ever since.

I’ve also sustained a few injuries, but we don’t need to talk about that.

The fact is you can’t usually see the band at concerts. Or at least I can’t. I’m a girl in her early twenties without a full-time job, living in Brooklyn.  I can’t afford seats that face the stage and General Admission is too deafening for Grandpa Dan’s fragile ears.

So what I end up getting out of concerts—what I can’t get through simply flipping through a band’s YouTube channel—is a chance to feel the music. If the music makes me want to tap my feet and dance like a fool, you’d better bet I will.

Music has been very important to me for a very long time. I was three years old the first time I sang onstage. I was auditioning for a community production of Mr. Scrooge and I sang “Side by Side” by Patsy Cline. It wasn’t a real audition; they weren’t going to cast anyone younger than five. But I apparently was desperate to audition and my mom Knows People in Wooster community theater, so she wrangled me an “honorary” audition.

I have no memory of this entire incident, but my mother says I hopped up about an octave to screech “SIDE BY SIIIIIDE” at the end. This would usually be a pretty risky way to end a performance, but I’m told it was something a three-year-old with pigtails pulled off quite well.

Considering I’ve been singing onstage literally since before I can remember, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve loved music my whole life. It’s what I used to think I wanted to do—musical theater, that is. But then I realized that the sentences I often composed in my head as I walked down the halls of my high school were evidence another kind of talent. And it was one that came much more easily to me than singing or acting ever had.

Just because the dream switched from musical theater to writing doesn’t mean I abandoned my love of music all together. In fact, now that there’s no pressure on me to excel at making music, I think I’ve grown to love it even more. I still sing in the shower and sometimes in my room when no one else is home. I get my karaoke on every so often. 

But what I love most is listening to music while I write. I was especially excited to see the Black Keys last night since many of their songs appear on my Renaissance Lab playlistWhen starting a new project, I listen to my entire iTunes Library on Shuffle. If a song distracts me from my writing, I skip it. And if it not only helps the flow of my writing but really adds to the mood of a scene, I’ll put it on my new project’s special playlist. If I’m lucky, it’s not long before I have a playlist that captures the essence of my book—or at least to me it does.

I’m so dependent on music when I write that it feels like a mini-tragedy every time I forget to bring my headphones to the coffee shop. Half the time I’ll just take my coffee to go and work from home rather than give up my precious music. Other times I’ll give whatever music they’ve chosen to play at the coffee shop a chance for an hour or two. If I notice one of the songs is having a particularly helpful effect on my writing, I Google the lyrics and later add that song (and often that band’s entire discography) to my music collection.

It’s a good thing I’m so forgetful, and often too lazy to make the walk home so soon after arriving at the coffee shop. Some of my favorite Brooklyn coffeehouses not only make a delicious cup of coffee, but play some pretty great music. I didn’t get into the Black Keys until I heard “Tighten Up” playing at the Outpost Lounge one day. Urban Vintage reminded me that I didn’t have any Nina Simone on my iTunes, and wasn’t that a damned shame?

I owe so much to music. Sometimes when I’m having a tough time connecting to a character, a certain song will bring me right back into his or her state of mind. On a day when it’s difficult to begin, I just listen to my project’s playlist for a while. Sometimes I’ll outline a bit while I do so, and sometimes I’ll do nothing but listen and think about my story. Music has pulled me out of more bouts of writer’s block and outline-induced freakouts than I can count.

Outline-induced freakouts are those times when I worry that I bet too big on myself in the outline. I’ll read over an outline, furrowing my brow, and think, “How in the hell did I expect me to pull this off?” Luckily, after some quality Music Time, I often come to the conclusion that Past Jillian is smarter than I tend to give her credit for.

I’ll close today with a few of the tracks that I truly think helped to make Renaissance Lab a better book.


“In the Backseat” by Arcade Fire




What I most admire about Arcade Fire is the band’s ability to start a song in one place, and take it somewhere else entirely by the end. This was a particular favorite while I worked on outlining the book as a whole. It just feels like Baine to me—partly due to the beautiful violin parts.


“The Little Things” by Danny Elfman




This song is wonderful for writing action scenes. It has a great guitar line and particularly badass lyrics. Added bonus: The singer is Danny Elfman, a gifted composer and the singing-half of Jack Skellington’s voice in The Nightmare Before Christmas.


“Stuff We Did” by Michael Giacchino




I am very big on movie scores when I write, and Up has one of the best. “Married Life” is another favorite track, but something about “Stuff We Did” puts me in just the right place to write an emotionally heavy scene.


“Whistle for the Choir” by the Fratellis




This is a song that gets a specific mention in Renaissance Lab—Baine practices playing it on guitar at one point. I listened to this song a lot while working on Baine and Roth scenes. Don’t read too much into the lyrics, though, guys. I love the song more for its general mood.


“Howlin’ for You” by the Black Keys




And here we are back at the Black Keys. They opened with this toe-tapping tune last night, and it’s not hard to see why. This was a soundtrack song for me, which means I thought it belonged in the background of a particular scene in Renaissance Lab. So I listened to the song on obsessive repeat until I finished writing the scene. I should hate it by now, but I don’t, and that is a true testament to how good this song really is.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The meaning behind “Velociraptor Hands” is finally revealed! (Admit it. The suspense was killing you.)

Last week I promised you an excerpt of my young-adult dystopian novel which would explain the name of this blog. So I won’t waste time rambling about things like the Oscars, mainly because I failed to watch them, and have spent all week feeling behind the times.

You might expect this excerpt to be near the beginning of the book, but it’s actually closer to the middle. Now, you may be asking yourself, why would I show you an excerpt from the middle of the book?

I want you guys to see the beginning of the book once it’s actually a book. The beginning is when you pull the reader in, and hopefully don’t let go. So instead I’m doing it like Renaissance Lab is a movie and I’m on Conan (just roll with this metaphor, okay?), showing you a clip to get you interested enough to buy a ticket on opening day.


I take him through a few vocal exercises and see that he wasn’t exaggerating. His actual voice is lovely—it’s deep and rich, just like his speaking voice. But Roth really is tone-deaf. When I sing notes to him, he responds by jumping up at least half an octave. I’m also not a very good voice teacher. When Roth prods me with questions, sometimes all I can say is, “Just do what feels right.”
He does a little better once I show him how to raise his hand and move it according to the music—up for higher notes and down for lower ones. Finally, I hand him the sheet music for “Shenandoah.” It’s a simple song; hopefully he can handle it.
After his third off-key rendition of the song, it’s tough to keep from grimacing. Roth notices my expression and stops singing. “Are your ears bleeding yet?”
“Only minor damage, I think. That time was a little better…” I trail off.
He laughs. “Oh, be honest. I’m horrible.” Roth sits next to me on the piano bench and thumbs through some of the sheet music on the stand. “I think I better stick to instruments I can see.”
I stiffen and try to figure out a polite way to get away from the bench. Why do I care about being polite to him? Some sense of manners keeps me in my seat, though I scoot as far from Roth as possible. “Yeah, I guess singing must be one of the tougher ones. Sorry I’m not great at explaining it. I pretty much just navigate singing by trying to feel my voice in the right places…” That doesn’t even make sense. Good thing teaching has never been a Kin career.
Roth shrugs. “Well, however you do it, it seems to work. You have … uh, you have a nice voice.”
“Thanks,” I reply quietly and focus my attention on a chart on the wall with pictures of a doe and rays of sunlight on it. Singing has always been the part of music I’m the most insecure about. To my ears, my voice lacks the trilling beauty of Sophie’s—it’s low and boring. “So do you. You just have to learn how to use it properly.”
“That’s what my mom used to say. But she always seemed to get a headache less than halfway into her lessons with me.” 
I chuckle, picturing an older blonde woman running from a singing Roth and towards a bottle of pain relievers. Roth’s black eyes catch mine and my smile slips away. “What?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s just, I’m not used to you smiling so much. Or at all. You’re usually so serious.”
Easy for him to say. It’s hard to joke around when you don’t have anyone to do it with. “You’re one to talk! You look so angry all the time … Stone Face.”
Roth lets out an incredulous laugh. “Stone Face? That’s the best you’ve got? And I bet you think you’re the funny one back home.”
I start searching for a better comeback then reflect on his words. Back home. Back where I ribbed at my friends all the time. Friends who couldn’t fathom the idea of speaking to a Vis Rebel, much less helping one. And laughing at his jokes.
Roth seems to be thinking something similar, since he abruptly rises from the piano bench and moves to a keyboard. Maybe he remembered that home to me is the same place that was prison to him. “Could we go over scales?” he asks. “I had a few questions.”
“Sure,” I reply, relieved to be back on familiar ground. 
Things are a little awkward for the rest of the session, and I’m sure this is the last I’ll see of Roth outside of class. But a few days later, he turns up again. He plays the entirety of “Shenandoah” on the piano and it sounds much better than it did when he tried to sing it.
“Any ear-bleeding this time?” he asks when he finishes.
I shake my head. “None at all. Though you need to loosen up your hands. You look like a velociraptor.”
He probably doesn’t know what a velociraptor is—he’s never played Battle of the Dinosaurs. But he grins without confusion. “I’m missing what’s bad about that.”


P.S. I told Young Daniel about his nickname on the blog and he was NOT pleased like I expected. Not at all. I don’t see what you’re so upset about, Young Daniel. I’m making you famous. Like, seven more people know that your name is Daniel, and that you are young. These are good things. And four of those people are from Thailand. You’re welcome.