Short Post and a Song #135: An ice cream factory sounds like it would probably be the best factory.

Guys I have some terrible news. There are only a few pages of It Takes Four left, so I'll have to go back to trying to think up jokes on Sundays again starting next week.

But for now, the epic conclusion of this terrible, terrible book I wrote when I was eight!

Last week ended in yet another cliffhanger: "The parents clapped and in the morning the parent had forgotten all..."

Translation: ...about the divorce. Now you probebly think I'll say they lived happily ever after. I only have two words for you...

Yeah Right!

At the Callaway house I don't know how, but the next day Mr, Mrs. Callaway were back on their feet. The parents were thrilled at the scene but they...

It's nice to see that my sense of humor was on point even back then. "Yeah Right!" Classic. 

"...I don't know how, but the next day Mr, Mrs. Callaway were back on their feet." That has got to be some of laziest fucking storytelling I have ever seen. Clearly I got too preoccupied with the stupid Love Prance and totally forgot there was a whole other set of twins with probably Alzheimer's-ridden parents.

But now the parents are back on their feet! Who would've thought such a devastating illness could be cured by the presence of their daughter and another girl who looks just like her that she met in the woods.

Translation: Lived Happily Ever After. The End

Well that was abrupt. Seriously I took these pictures a while ago and double-checked the book to make sure there wasn't any more.

There was not.

But hey, at least there's a sign with lights around it that says "The End" in cursive that appears to have been hung on a wall by the same person who hung all those horrifying blank pictures. And a pathetic-looking flower.

Translation: About the Author

(illustrartor)

Jillian Karger is a third grader at Parkview School. Jillian has also ... The Scary Witch, The Invisible Friend and George and Garth go to the Ice Cream Factory. Jill has 5 people in her family and four pets.

I actually think "illustrartor" is amazing and vow to do all that I can to ensure that this becomes the new commonly accepted spelling of the word.

For someone who had written so many books at this point you'd think I'd say "written" instead of "...". 

Oh man, I really wish I knew where any of those books were, especially "George and Garth go to the Ice Cream Factory". If I remember correctly, "The Scary Witch" ended with said scary witch turning into a rainbow.

Thanks for making another trip down memory lane with me, Velocininjas. Next time I'm in Ohio I'm gonna have to stock up on more embarrassing shit from my childhood to share whenever I'm running low on jokes.

~*~*~*~*~

"The Next Time We Wed" by The Fratellis

This is the third time I've featured The Fratellis, and I love how incredibly different all three songs are. "Whistle for the Choir" is a pretty love song, "Medusa in Chains" is slow and bluesy, and "The Next Time We Wed" is a groovy tune that brings Prince to mind. This new track is just so much goddamn fun.

Happy Guy Fawkes Day, friends, go watch V for Vendetta for me.